There is no greater metamorphosis we as women go through than when we become mothers. Everything changes. Our bodies, our priorities, our relationships, our sense of self, etc. And this new role of Mom is suddenly there when it wasn’t before – and it’s a big one! It can demand a lot of space, time, and energy. And sometimes it can feel like there isn’t much room left over for the things that you once did just for you. These are some big changes, and it’s so normal to feel a little (or a lot!) disconnected from yourself in the process.
But chances are, if you’re reading this article, you’re looking for a change. Maybe you’re looking to do the things you once did, just for you. Maybe you’re looking to go back to work, or start a business, or finally write that book! If that feels like a daunting task, or you’re having a hard time getting started, know that you are not alone. I coach mamas on this very thing and hear the fears, frustrations, and guilt that kick in when they start to re-engage with the things they love. It’s so normal! And, the hardest part is getting started.
Want some help? Here are 5 steps you can take today to get started.
If you’re answer is “I don’t know!”…keep looking! If you had a whole day to yourself what would you put on the schedule? A nap? A yoga class? Reading a book? Writing a book? Painting? Starting a podcast? Starting a business? Growing your business? Running a mile? Training for a marathon? Job searching for your next perfect role? Taking some time to reflect on the question “what would I like to be doing?” is the first step in getting clear on what it is that you want and what would give you great joy and fulfillment. It’s also another way of asking, what are your dreams?
Really feel into this question. What about this is most important to you? Grab a pen and paper and start writing. Imagine yourself doing/achieving this thing. What does it look like, feel like? Write in the present tense as if it’s currently happening. What would it mean to you to be doing/achieving this thing?
The four most important words you can say to yourself. When you are engaging with something that is so important to you, it’s normal for certain thoughts to pop up that, up until now, might have gotten in the way of you moving forward. However, when that happens, you can say these four words and pull from it some extra courage, strength, and determination to keep moving forward. Write it on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror so you see it every morning, use it as a mantra and repeat it over and over again throughout your day, write it on your hand as a reminder, heck! get it as a tattoo! I always think of the other mamas out there saying these exact same four words and I know I’m not alone. It always gives me the strength I need to move through any fears that might be coming up for me. These words are so powerful because ‘being willing’ is our capacity to say yes to the things that are important to us, right now, no matter what obstacles, thoughts or feelings we might be experiencing. You may not think you can do something, you may not want to do something, you may not know how to do it AND at the same time, you can, nevertheless be willing.
Now that you’re willing…what is one small sweet step you can take towards achieving your goal? Key word, small. Oftentimes what slips people up is that they’re next step is too big. If your next step can be broken up into smaller pieces, great! Break it up into those smaller pieces and pick one of those! We’re just exercising that “doing” muscle here, and having small steps gives you lots of practice. Finally, by when are you willing to take this small sweet step? Would it support you to write this down on your calendar? If it would, do it now!
At some point you might run into a snag and fall off course. No problem! And, completely normal, because again, you’re engaging with something that is really important to you, and it’s normal for fears to come up. Just go back to step #2 and repeat. Achieving your goals is 100% possible, it just takes consistency and constantly reconnecting with what makes it so important to you. You got this mama!
If you’ve gone through these steps and are still struggling to see clearly what it is you’d like to be doing, or maybe you already know what you want and just need some support getting there, consider working with a coach! A coach is someone who helps you identify your core strengths and values, discover what’s most meaningful for you to engage with, identify goals that come alive with purpose and excitement, and helps you reach you’re goals with clarity and ease. Sound intriguing? If you’re not sure where to start, I’d love to help! I offer up free 30 min Discovery Sessions to help mamas see if coaching is the right support for them. You can learn more about me and schedule your free 30 min Discovery Session on my website at www.taylorpangman.com
Life & Career Coach for MomThe Motherhood Project
Taylor Pangman is a Life & Career Coach for Mamas and host of The Motherhood Project Podcast. Taylor supports Mamas who want to get clear on their dreams and make it happen. If you’d like to learn more about Taylor and her offerings, you can check her out at www.taylorpangman.com or on instagram @taylorpangman.
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Golden 4MM Initial Bracelet
The Waffle Sweatsuit
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Mama 4MM 14K Gold Bracelet
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