you are needed, no matter how broken you feel

I’m Yasmin and I have been diagnosed with severe postpartum depression, anxiety and OCD.

I have two children, Maddox is 2 and Alfie is 1. I feel pregnant with Alfie when Maddox was 7 months old. I suffered in silence with undiagnosed postpartum anxiety when I had Maddox, I just thought I was being a neurotic first time mom. But now I am more educated with maternal mental health.

My symptoms of postpartum depression begun when I was 30 weeks pregnant with Alfie. I started getting angry a lot quicker and felt overwhelmed by the simplest tasks. I started thinking I was just going to have Alfie and leave him at the hospital. When I started thinking that I knew something was definitely wrong.

I googled symptoms of postpartum depression and sure enough I had every single one. What began as perinatal depression turned into full blown postpartum depression and I felt like a fish out of water. I was diagnosed and was given no tool kit to get through it all.

I called MULTIPLE therapists and no one would see me due to either insurance issues or their full capacity. After 9 long months I finally found my current therapist. She has helped me immensely. When I was first diagnosed I was shocked because mental health issues do not run in my family but since opening up to her I have since discovered that my past trauma of an abusive husband and abusive mother played a pivotal part in me getting postpartum depression.

To the mama struggling right now, I know it feels impossible to get through the day but you’ll find the strength to fight another day. You are needed no matter how broken you feel.

shared by guest author Yasmin